


Thinking Of Her

by RatchetTrash



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Some Humor, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatchetTrash/pseuds/RatchetTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A time portal AU from the Season 3 finale- What if Regina had gone to check on the time portal, to find Emma being dragged into it. What if, the last thing Emma saw and thought about was the woman running to help her? We all know portals take you to where you think, so what if you think of a person?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks the people running the SQBB for setting this up, and Kayryn, my artist for all the awesome creative energy. Also I want to promise you guys that Hook will not be in this story much at all. He is in the first chapter purely because it's the only part of the story that's canon, but after that he's gone. Anyways, have a read, I hope you enjoy.

Sitting cross-legged, Emma watched ripples skate across the grey water the bench overlooked. Her phone chimed again, yet another call from David. She sighed and declined it, not in the mood for a lecture. She ran a hand through her hair, letting out a laborious breath of agitation. The expressions of disappointment and disbelief from her friends and family were still staring at her in her head, demanding answers for her irrational behaviour. In truth, even she didn’t know what she was doing. The last year, the last fourteen years of memories given to her by Regina; they were the second chance that she never actually had. It was hard to let go of that. Nothing could ever repay the debt she owed her, and no words could truly express the overwhelming gratitude Emma had felt. She still dreamt of the life they’d had, the memories of baby Henry, toddling around and laughing.

Those dreams had been real memories for a year; she would wake up grinning, and get up to make breakfast for the two of them. But now… Now she woke to realise that none of it was real anymore. Her knowledge of Storybrooke had returned and Henry was no longer smiling at her in the memories from so long ago. Those were Regina’s memories, and Emma was never there at all. The crippling sadness that took root in her heart led her to believe that the only way she could regain the happiness of the past year, would be to take Henry and run back to the life Regina had given them. The last year was always going to be real, those memories would always be true, and would always be happy. She could have that again if she could only forget everything here. Forget Neal, forget Regina, forget Snow, David, Hook, Archie, Ruby, Belle, Gold… But she did remember, and so did Henry. And now that that was so, she had no right to drag him back to New York, away from his Mother, his Grandparents, and the rest of the people he had grown to hold so dear. He would certainly not go willingly. But she had to. She had to…

Another phone call. David, again. Decline. She heard someone approaching but she refused to turn and face them. He spoke as she replaced her phone in the pocket of the worn red leather jacket that was so unconditionally loved by her.

“You’re making a mistake.” Hook’s words infuriated her.

“I don’t want to talk to you about this.” The reply was truthful. Emma wanted time to think alone, without the opinions of the people she had known to be fiction until four years previously. The entire conversation was useless to her, and yet she still found that the more she talked, the more she defended herself. What did she have to prove?

“So you’re just going to leave your parents then. Do you even care about them? Or anyone in this town.” Mary Margret and David were her friends, her family, but they could never be parents to her, their life could never be hers. It was the same argument over and over.

“Of course I care.” The retort was meant to sound annoyed and sharp, but it came breathless and broken. She did care. Emma couldn’t help but care that she’d be leaving everyone behind. She cared that Mary Margret and David would lose their daughter again, she cared that Regina would lose her son again, she cared she’d be running from the trust the town had put in her. She knew this wasn’t what Hook had meant, but now was not the time to address another rejection. This was hard enough without having to fend off his advances at the same time. “I just have to do what’s right for me, and Henry, and-- What the hell is that?” The sight of a gargantuan column of orange light cut short the conversation, saving her from saying anything else that she wasn’t even sure she believed. Well heck, any excuse to stop having to talk about her feelings with the world’s most horny pirate. It wasn’t like he cared what she said anyway. She would bet a lot of money that he had been thinking about fucking her for the entire time she’d been struggling to wrap her head around what she wanted to do and say. She stood up from the bench and began to head in the general direction of the light, ignoring the protests from Hook.

* * *

Regina’s eyes followed the direction her son was pointing in. A confused apprehension set in as her gaze came to rest on the pillar of light that appeared to be descending from the heavens. She identified magic for sure, but the question of who created such a large exhibit of power was both worrying and without a solid answer. Her immediate thoughts ran to the blonde who had recently stormed out, but Emma was just learning the basics, she wasn’t capable of doing anything of such epic proportions, was she? Regina couldn’t even figure out what the tower of magic was, so how could Emma have the knowledge to cast it? And the amount of time and effort needed for something of that scale… she simply couldn’t have. Perhaps Gold? She turned to see whether he was present, and at that moment the chime of the diner door bell sounded and Rumplestiltskin entered with Belle, speaking of Zelena and time portals. A strange mixture of relief and anxiety settled in Regina’s stomach, glad that Zelena was no longer an issue to allow her to render her without existence, and yet the very presence of the time portal was an issue. An image of Emma leaping without looking at the portal and ending up altering the very foundations of their today came to mind. She hoped Emma was not stupid enough to go looking for the time portal, but then again she was the daughter of the Two Idiots and she probably wouldn’t know what the tower of light was. She was the sheriff after all (as she was sure Emma would justify her actions) and it was part of her job to investigate possible threats to the community. Regina began to leave, thinking it best to check that Emma had not tried to shut down the portal despite her present anger at the blonde’s intentions for Henry. A hand grabbed her arm, and she turned to face Robin Hood.

“Where are you going?” His eyes showed concern but Regina was not used to having to explain her every move, so a small ball of irritation grew at the inquisition. She debated throwing back a sarcastic retort, but she realised making him worry would only lead him to get in her way as he was so prone to doing over the last year.

“To make sure Miss Swan does not do anything too damaging,” was the reply she chose. Her gaze flickered down to her wrist where rough fingers encircled, and then rose again. She met his eyes with defiance, daring him to say anything other than ‘okay’. A frown flitted across his features, and then the grip loosened.

“Go.” The word was punctuated with a nod, which she returned, and then left.

Her heels clicked quickly over perfectly laid paving slabs, to where her car waited. The journey was not a particularly long one but it was always better to be as fast as possible when looking to avoid a potential crisis. A low darkness had settled over the town, a fast-descending night that seemed to appear out of nowhere. As she travelled through the winding streets that became more and more desolate towards the edge of the town, she switched her headlamps on to see clearer, casting dramatic shadows on the trees. Orange light was now visible through the foliage, glowing bright in the pressing darkness. As she neared the building, it became more and more obvious that the saviour had in fact come looking for the time portal. She could hear shouting over the raging winds that the portal emitted on the road leading up to the building, and as she rounded the corner Regina saw the barn doors fling wide open, and two people thrown to the ground as they were dragged by an invisible force towards the pillar of burning light. As they skidded across the floor, Hook on his back and Emma on her front, Regina leapt out of the still-running car and ran towards the barn. The pirate jammed his hooked hand into the ground, and grabbed on to the blonde haired sheriff with the other, yelling at her to hold on. Emma was making unintelligible screams of panic from the force pulling her from the grasp of Hook, but as she struggled to keep hold, her eyes fell upon Regina running towards them.

“Regina!” She looked as though she was going to say more, but her shout was cut short by the cuff of Hook’s coat tearing, causing Emma to tumble into the portal, followed by the pirate himself.

“Emma!” Regina’s returning cry echoed through the suddenly silent barn, never reaching its recipient. The portal had closed the moment she stepped foot within the building that held it. She stood still for a short period of time, the shock at having lost Emma to a portal yet again sinking in. This time however, it wasn’t just another realm, but another era. Then she ran a hand through her hair, trying to soothe the wild sticking out bits that had occurred in the turbulence the time portal had caused. For a second she almost found humour in the fact that the blonde was somehow always the one to end up in these situations, however a cold realisation that one wrong move could alter everyone’s destinies forever washed over her, sobering any chuckles into frowns. Regina turned away from the crosshairs etched into the dirt, marking the exit from this world that she feared would be the scar that the ground would bare as evidence that soon, nothing could be the same again.

Walking slowly, she began to head back to her car, still purring deeply, headlights still on, and parked too far away to have been any use in helping them. Something shifted within her, something was different, she could feel it. Emma going back in time suddenly made complete sense to her. Her memories and knowledge shifted, and left her bewildered yet oddly enlightened.

The sounds of empty night air closed in on Regina, everything too loud in the stillness. She focussed on each thing individually; the rumble of her engine, the twitters of various birds and animals, the slight rustle of the wind filtering through foliage, the crunch of shingle under step. Footsteps, not hers. Heavy breathing. Struggling for words. Regina turned, car keys in one hand and the other poised behind her, ready to conjure a fireball if necessary. The panting grew closer, the footfall sounding like running in long, quick strides.

“Who’s there?” her voice sounded too loud, too panicked in the night, eyes squinting across to the pathway that lead behind the barn.

“Regina…” came the breathless shout from the rapidly nearing silhouette through the gloom. She knew that voice. As the person got closer they slowed to a jog before coming to stand panting and without words before the former queen. Regina stood dumbstruck.

“How..?” Regina’s puzzlement must have shown on her face because a bark of laughter escaped from the person in front of her. “You wouldn’t believe the trip I’ve been on,” she said, “What I’ve seen…” The words choked and died, and at that moment the smile fell and Emma burst into tears.


	2. Nine

The landing was hard, disorientating, and blinding with a flash of orange light. Emma laid face first on the forest floor with slightly damp, rotting leaves sticking to her jacket. With a groan, she rolled over, leaning back on her elbows and taking in her surroundings. Emma muttered a curse under her breath when she realised that she had not only gone back in time. She was not simply transported to the same spot ten, twenty, fifty years before, she was somewhere completely different; The Enchanted Forest. Alone. Where the fuck was Hook? The first wave of panic came rushing over her as she thought about how she was going to get home. It wasn’t as though portals through space-time were the most abundant form of transport in all the realms. Then another crushing reality in the form of her separation with Henry yet again, with no foreseeable route home came raining down upon her. Emma scrambled to her feet, overbalancing and ending up tripping into the wide trunk of an impossibly tall tree. There, she leaned, breathing heavily and regaining her focus. She couldn’t just go stumbling about in the woods; she had to find out exactly when and where she was. Standing up straight and brushing the leaves from her jacket, Emma slowly turned to survey the trees surrounding her. A thinning patch appeared to be located to her right and so she moved carefully towards it, hoping to find a clearing. As she walked towards it, a noise coming from a little further ahead began to reach her ears; laughing and talking and the rustling of leaves underfoot. Her immediate instinct was to hide, but as she peered through the trees she caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

“Regina!” She called out. The brunette stopped talking and looked around to search for the person who had called, but as her face turned towards Emma, the blonde realised that the person she had called out to did not know her, and so she ducked behind a tree before the young woman’s gaze could fall upon her. Emma kicked herself mentally. What was she doing? If she interacted with anyone she risked altering history. And yet how was she meant to get home if she did not? This question was to remain unanswered for now however, as Regina and her company had become dangerously close to the tree that Emma was hiding behind.  Pressing herself flat against the bark, Emma remained stock still as she allowed the two to pass her tree on the opposite side. The man she was with had a voice that was deep and warm, and he spoke to Regina with a comfortable familiarity. Emma tentatively peeked at them from behind the tree. She could only see the back of their heads since they had passed her, but she could still see some details. Both dark haired, Regina more so with long waves tumbling down her back in a loosely pinned style that was both pretty and youthful, while his was neat and short. He was taller than her by a considerable amount, walking close in a red-brown cloak that swung at mid-calf to meet the top of black riding boots. Regina was also wearing a cloak, hooded and light blue with swirls of sandy brown littering it, and boots that came to just below the knee. It was not clear to see through the heavy material fastened at their shoulders, but by their proximity and synchronised movement, Emma would have guessed they were holding hands. Their talking was light-hearted and full of laughter; speaking of animals, the outdoors, and Regina’s habit of riding her horse like a man, much to the disappointment of her mother. Despite the conversation not being a particularly serious or meaningful one, Emma felt as though her hearing the exchange was violating the privacy of the couple, and so she turned from the path they had woven through the trees, and quietly headed back towards the clearing she had been aiming at before.

As the trees thinned Emma began to see expanses of lush green fields that rolled in gentle slopes in contrast with the brown tones of the autumnal forest. The wooded area she had emerged from extended so far she could not see the edge of it. Emma looked across the fields, seeing that only a short distance away was what appeared to be a small town, crowned with a looming presence of royalty. The castle was undoubtedly huge, yet it had an air of goodness and innocence about it, as though it were modest in comparison to many other buildings across this land. Its towers reached for the cloudless blue atmosphere like a child’s stubby fingers straining to touch the stars with a single flag streaming in the wind. Unsure of how she would proceed, Emma decided that in any case help would be something she needed, and so she took a step forwards into the field in order to make her way to the town. However before she made it two paces she saw a flash of orange materialise beneath her, and again she was falling.


	3. Eight

The forest again, in the dark. Is that what the portal was doing? Returning her to the forest? Was she not allowed to step outside of it? The undergrowth was prickly and stabbing through her jeans, making her calves itch. There was a pathway about fifteen feet in front of her made of trodden down mud and decomposing straw. From not far away Emma could hear the approaching sounds of running along this path, and a female voice crying out;

“Snow! Wait!” On the pathway before her, a young girl was running, and tripped, landing hard with a gasp.

“Snow! Snow… Are you okay?” The person who had been calling her name knelt in front of her, with a worried expression. Emma could see through the gloom that it was Regina, still young and with her long flowing hair, closer now than before. And the small crying girl, that was Snow? Her mother? She looked Henry’s age, perhaps even younger. Emma squinted her eyes, trying to see what Mary Margret looked like when she was so young, obviously not having seen photographs of such a time.

“No…no...” the young Snow White sobbed, “Why were you kissing that man in the stable?” Emma thought back to the scene she had observed moments ago. So he and Regina were seeing each other. Emma knew of a man that Regina had lost, and she vaguely understood that Regina hated her mother for it, blamed her for his death. What was his name…? “You’re to marry my father, you’re to be my mother!” Snow protested.

A wave of disgust hit Emma. Seeing the two girls together, Regina couldn’t be more than six years older than Snow, and the age gap could be plausibly smaller, so the idea of such a young girl, of Regina becoming the mother of someone who could never be young enough to be her child made her feel sick. The king would be sharing a bed with someone not much older than his own young daughter. They were more like sisters.

“Snow please, listen to me.” Regina’s voice was desperate, pleading with her younger counterpart to heed her words. She stroked her face and Emma could feel the intimacy of the moment. They were friends. She remembered Mary Margret telling her that Regina had once saved her from a runaway horse, and that they had been introduced that way. From the encounter she was seeing now, she could visualise the heroic act much clearer than the fuzzy question mark the fact had left in her head in Storybrooke. She had never seen Regina as the type to save a stranger, and attempting to imagine her on horseback only brought amused confusion in the form of the uptight mayor straddling a horse haughtily in her power-suits. But here, now, she saw it. She could see the kind, gentle girl Regina once was. She saw the protectiveness over Snow, and the trust she put in her.“He… Your father, King Leopold, he’s a kind and fair man. But I don’t love him.”

An image of Cora immediately manifested itself in Emma’s mind. She saw Cora reaching into her chest and smiling, saying “Love is weakness,” as she did so. Cora would be the only person so devoid of emotion to force her daughter into such a marriage. A marriage that was not only loveless but extreme in its lack of boundaries. A marriage between a man of at least fifty to a girl no older than eighteen. Only Cora would see that as potential instead of punishment. Only Cora would be so power-hungry for the throne that she would force her daughter into a Kings bed without her consent. These thoughts were giving Emma a headache, a horrible pressure in her temples that wouldn’t subside.

Snow had seemed confused by the answer that Regina had given, so enamoured with her father that she couldn’t see why anyone wouldn’t be. The Regina Emma had known would have fired back some remark that was scathing or sarcastic, but this Regina just smiled patiently.

“Love doesn’t work that way. Love, true love, is magic. And not just any magic, the most powerful magic of all.” The white light that had erupted from Emma’s chest when Cora couldn’t steal her heart came back into the blonde’s mind. The child of true love; Snow and Charming, Mary Margret and David. She stared at the child before her, marvelling at the fact that Regina had been the one to teach Snow about love, the purest form of love which she would find in the future in the existence of her father. “It creates happiness.” Regina had looked happy strolling through the woods, whenever it was that Emma had seen them. If only she could have been happy forever…

Wait.

Although not entirely informed, it was a safe bet to say that the reason Regina had always hated Snow is because of the events that had happened at this time. Emma knew the future. She didn’t yet know the exact timeline of events, and how quickly they unfolded, but she knew the consequences. Perhaps she could save them.

She watched patiently as Regina pleaded with Snow to keep her relationship a secret, especially from Cora, and as she observed them, more and more of the story she only partially knew began to unfold before her. Mary Margret was never good with secrets. The two girls hugged, Regina looking relieved as Snow skipped away happily back towards her father’s castle. She however stayed knelt for a moment before standing.

This was it.

Emma stood, and started to make her way towards the path through tall grass and prickly greenery. The noise she made caused Regina to spin around, so she held up her hands in a submissive gesture.

“Regina, please don’t run.” She wasn’t whispering, but her tone was low and quiet. The young woman eyed her up and down, frowning at her leather jacket, skinny jeans and brown leather boots.

“Who are you? What were you doing in there?” Regina barked warily, taking a few steps away from the approaching blonde. Now that the situation presented itself, Emma wasn’t so sure of what to say, how to explain. “Are you following me?”

“No! God, sorry I… Hello. My name is Emma.” She dropped her hands from her ‘don’t shoot’ posture, and outstretched one towards the future Queen instead. The brunette eyed her cautiously, before taking the hand, and squeezing it slightly before letting it go.

“Regina.”

“I know.”

“Pardon?” Emma sighed. This was going to be tricky.

“I have something very important to tell you. Please don’t question me, or ask me how I know, but please just do as I say, okay?” Emma knew the way she spoke sounded stupid and ambiguous, but she had no other way of trying to get Regina out of this. Something in the back of her mind was nagging her that this could have serious consequences, but she ignored it, focussing only on the possibility of Regina avoiding heartbreak. “

Why should I trust you?” Regina was unconvinced but curious, her brow furrowed with residual worry over Snow.

“Because if you are not fast enough your lover will die. Your mother will kill him.” The expressions that flitted across Regina’s face were fast and intense; disbelief, anger, fear, panic. Emma continued despite Regina attempting to ask her what she knew and how, and why was she saying this, and what could she possibly gain by toying with her. “Regina, please, go to him as fast as you can and leave. Now.” Regina seemed torn between listening and arguing with Emma, however she didn’t get the chance. A burning light swallowed Emma whole again, leaving a bewildered young woman scared and alone.


	4. Seven

Emma Swan’s third landing was about as graceful as her first two had been. The disorientation made her feel queasy and the smell… The smell was of horses. She had fallen on her hands and knees, landing heavily on the heel of her palms and her skinny-jean clad joints that stung from the force. This time there were no leaves, but instead there was a straw-covered floor and a large, brown animal enclosed in the tiny wooden space in which Emma was currently occupying. While Emma was generally okay with horses, this situation made her a little nervous; she didn’t know where she was, why the portal had taken her here, what time period it was, or how easily should be caught stuck hiding in a stable. Obviously this meant her original theory that the portal had somehow bound her to the forest was incorrect. So what was the common denominator? With a quick glance up to make sure the horse had indeed acknowledged her presence and wasn’t seeming to want to kill her, Emma quietly stood to her feet.

In front of her was the gate to the stable, which led to a barn holding many more enclosures for the giant beasts, some empty, some full. Turning around, Emma found there was also a window with wooden shutters pegged open on the outside so that the horse, who was currently munching straw lazily, could stick her head out. Instead it was Emma who gazed through it, noticing that she was across the fields she had been in first, however time had obviously moved too since the trees were now lush and green instead of dropping to the ground to provide a blanket of red and brown mushed-together leaf mould. But it was not the blooming greenery that took hold of Emma’s attention. For across the field a little, Emma could see as clear as day a young teenage Regina, about the same age as the one she had seen not five minutes beforehand, jumping over obstacles and trotting around confidently on an elegant steed without a saddle. She no longer had to imagine the uptight mayor trotting stiffly atop an aloof steed in dressage-type elegance. An elderly man Emma had never seen before was also with her, clapping and smiling at her when she circled back around to him. He spoke to her but Emma was much too far away to hear. Some more people were also walking down to meet them, and as they stopped and held conversation with Regina, Emma could see for sure that the woman was Cora Mills, mother of Regina, and the man was the same one as she saw in the forest, holding a heavy leather saddle. Regina dismounted her horse, not impressed with something that was said. Emma could see her addressing the young man, who then took her horse and began to make his way back up towards the stables.

Emma quickly ducked in order to avoid detection; however she could not resist a quick peak out of the window when she heard a sharp shriek from the field. Cora’s hand was extended upwards, seemingly suspending her daughter in mid-air, whilst she was bound with a shimmering blue magic. Daniel, now quite close to the stables, had also turned to see what Cora was doing, and Emma could just about make out the sharp intake of breath that was made by him in shock of what was occurring. Emma herself was rather taken-aback; she had known Cora to be manipulative, evil even, but she had always appeared to treasure her daughter, at least by what Emma had seen. But now as Regina struggled off the ground to get loose from belts that had also magically bound around her, Cora smiled in sadistic pleasure at having punished her daughter so effectively. The elderly man stood a little behind Cora, obviously not sharing the same enjoyment as the woman, but offering no resistance to her actions. Emma concluded this must be Regina’s father, Henry. She had not heard much about him; suffice to say that he was probably dead, since she had never seen him in Storybrooke, or on her little gallivanting trips to the Enchanted Forest and her encounters with Regina’s mother. Emma stared at the altercation, willing Cora to let her go, as Regina struggled, then gave up and stayed still suspended in the air. A few more words were spoken, then Cora released the spell, allowing Regina to drop to the ground. The brunette paused for a moment; still facing her mother, then ran up the incline of the field to the stables where Emma was currently hiding. Emma ducked, lying flat on the floor as the young man entered with the horse and Regina approached. Through the wooden gate enclosing her in the straw-filled space, Emma could hear the shuffling of boots and the click of horseshoes coming past her. Regina’s steed was led into the main stable area, where the man hung the leather saddle and began to brush the horse down. Emma strained her ears for signs of movement, but he worked quietly and without giving an indication of his whereabouts. From her left, the sound of panting reached Emma’s ears; Regina out of breath from running. Emma slowly pushed herself onto her knees, then rolled back onto the ball of her feet. The horse she was sharing a stall with gave a dissatisfied grunt and shift with this action, a sound Emma used to her advantage by covering the noise of her movement to lean against the stable door and peek over it. Regina paced restlessly, nervously by the entrance to the barn, her light brown riding trousers clinging to her legs, boots over the top, and with a long tailed, sky blue, tailored riding jacket with white ruffles peeking out the collar, that Emma could guess was not requested by her mother to be made. Her hair was braided simply down her back, the plait tied by a ribbon of the same blue as her jacket in a neat, pretty bow. She approached, looking hesitant as the man continued to brush the horse.

“Daniel…”

 _Oh…_ Memories of her parents telling her about Daniel came flooding back to Emma. Snow said he was killed and it was her fault, and David was there when he’d gone all Frankenstein’s monster on everyone.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you” her voice was so innocent, so young.

“That’s alright,” Daniel replied, taking steps towards the young woman, “you’ll just have to find some way to make it up to me.” His face betrayed a hint of a smirk, but hers did not. Instead her eyes met his in a look that was more lustful than anything Emma had ever seen from the Mayor before. This only lasted a split second, however, as the couples lips came together in a clash of mouths so passionate, Emma ducked again in fear they would start more than she was willing to watch. However as her head dipped beneath the top of the door, orange light swallowed her again, to the cry of a broken girl screaming “Mother!”

* * *

The haze of orange did not dissipate. Instead it held Emma, steady and in between times. Between two moments in Regina’s life. It became blindingly obvious now that Emma was not bound to a place or time, but a person. Her last thought before falling through the portal was of Regina, and here she was, being shown her life, her love, and her pain. An open portal between two events, both of which she could see and hear in a mismatch of emotion. If she looked to her left there was a very young, innocent Regina smiling and happy, allowing herself to be embraced in Daniel’s arms as they kissed. And to her right was night time, the couple confronted by Cora. Emma fixated on this moment, watched Cora tell Daniel about doing what’s best for your children, watched the hopeful smiles of relief and gratitude from the teenage couple who were oh-so wrong in their judgement. She watched as Cora tore out the heart of Regina’s first love, watched her expression crack and the innocent girl break. In that moment she saw Regina lose her love, her innocence and her trust in her mother. In that moment she saw not only a young, fragile girl, but the Regina she knew from Storybrooke. They were one and the same. Nothing she had said made any difference. She found herself unconsciously trying to move towards the girl huddled over her lover’s corpse, the portal moving with her as she reached out her hand to put her arm around her, comfort her, tell her not to seek revenge. But as her fingers brushed the dusty hooded cloak and Regina’s tear-stained face turned with a gasp to meet Emma’s blue eyes, welling up with the same sorrow, the portal engulfed her again and silence rang over words left unsaid. 


	5. Six

For a moment Emma was held suspended in a void of nothingness, as though the portal were attempting to decide on where to send her next. She took the time to chastise herself for being so stupidly reckless. Save Daniel? If that had happened, Regina would have run away and been happy with Daniel, meaning no revenge quest against Snow, meaning she wouldn’t have been on the run, meaning she wouldn’t have met David, which meant no her, or Henry, or curse or anything she knew to be the truth today. She had to be more careful. But Regina had seen her now, wouldn’t things alter something anyway? She wasn’t sure, but there was too much that could go wrong with all of this for Emma to be even remotely comfortable with her position.

Suddenly it hit her how so very dark it was. Emma was without feeling of her body or the ground or the air. She tried to touch her hands together, but nothing seemed to move. She couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t see anything. Perhaps this was place of suspended consciousness, a limbo, a place where thought happened without brain or body. Before she could decide what the experience was all about, a flash of familiar orange caught her and she was flung into the world again.

A cold stone floor. A sofa covered with blankets of fur. A fire blazing with the same golden glow as the portal that had carried her here. Emma groaned softly at the impact on to her knees and contemplated if she would ever be able to land on her feet. She was knelt low on the floor in between the sofa and the fire, which were facing each other. She was grateful for the heat, as the castle seemed empty and chilled, with an air of unhappiness. Rising up on her knees, Emma peeked over the top of the couch to survey the room, however someone was standing close by with his back to her, lighting candles, and so she quickly ducked back down. The clicking of heels approached and through a giant archway to Emma’s right strode in the Evil Queen. Or at least, a person that had been called that title one too many times. Emma peeked over the sofa again; taking in the Queen’s all black regalia and seemingly impossibly styled hair. She seemed agitated, and upset. The conversation that followed only proved to validate the frown that creased her brow.

“…Maybe I can help?” the man had turned, and Emma recognised him as the same one from the day the younger Regina had been magically strung up by her mother. A thought of _You didn’t help her then,_ crossed her mind, which she then instinctively reeled from. Why the animosity?  He was obviously worried, so why was she so angry with his lack of action from an event she hadn’t even been born for? She had experienced Cora; her violence and manipulation, she should understand his hesitance to act against her, and yet she couldn’t help but feel as though he should have done something.

“I have to cut out the heart of the thing I love most…” Emma could see the side profile of Regina’s face, all the pain from the day of Daniel’s death reflected and magnified in the revelation she had to lose someone again. She was truly broken. The silence was heavy with knowledge and desperation to deny its truth.

“Me.” And all became clear. Why Emma had felt so much anger towards him. Regina loved him, trusted him most out of everybody in the world, and yet he stood by and allowed Cora to abuse their daughter to the point where she was reduced to her mother’s aspirations and a vengeful heart towards a little girl who couldn’t keep a secret from a master manipulator. Memories of abusive foster parents came unwittingly into Emma’s mind. She’d had no-one to save her from those bruises, Regina had someone, but he had refused to protect her. Henry Sr was composed and his daughter was struggling to keep hers in check. He was looking for self-preservation, Regina was looking for compromise. She turned towards her father, eyes welling up and face contorted into a troubled frown.

“Daddy I don’t know what to do.” Those words alone broke Emma’s heart. The way Regina's voice cracked took her back to the helplessness of a child. the blonde grasped the furs on the sofa as she struggled to keep from crying. Obviously they were talking about the curse, she’d seen Pan’s happen, and she’d heard enough from Gold to know how it worked. It didn’t take her long to understand what she was going to witness. _No, no, no. Regina please don’t, s_ he begged silently, watching as Henry Sr implored her to think about her decision, of the life they could have together, of the happiness they could achieve. She watched as the Evil Queen fell into his embrace dejectedly, but emerged again hardened. Emma watched as she sank her hand into her own father’s chest in the same way Cora had done to Daniel, and saw the only other person she loved sink to the floor.

“I’m sorry” the words came out as whispers, barely audible and without a mask of hatred. She sank to her knees and wept. It broke Emma to know that she would never find another person to love until Henry, her son. Their son. He was all that had mattered to her in Storybrooke; Protect Henry from Birthmother, make Henry forgive me, find Henry, save Henry. She had just witnessed the death of the man Henry was named after, the man Regina loved most. Standing quietly, she rounded the sofa and walked towards the Queen.

“Regina…” she began, but the queen wheeled round fast, letting out a ball of magical force that sent Emma colliding with the far wall. She groaned as he back hit the hard surface, and then slid to the floor in pain. Her head spun and black dots spattered across her vision.

“It’s you!” Her voice was breathless and disbelieving.

“Hi,” The greeting was apologetic, akin to the one she had used when first meeting Henry’s mother, although this time it was laced with a winded wheeze of discomfort. Suddenly the Queen was beside her, looming over her with an expression of incredulousness, as though she was seeing a ghost.

“I have not seen you in years, why is it you are here now?” Regina did not pause to let Emma answer, “How was it you knew of Daniel’s death? How do you travel? I have asked Rumplestiltskin but he was baffled, for a change. Are you a spirit of death, only appearing when my loved ones will die? Tell me of Snow white, will I defeat her soon?” She was rambling; crying tears of anger, hatred, and too many years of suffering welling up inside her and spilling over. Emma glanced at the body of her father still crumpled on the floor like a forgotten manuscript from a dissatisfied writer, then back at her.

“Regina—“

“You called to me, didn’t you? I heard a voice in the woods once, half a year or so before I first saw you, when I was walking with Daniel. A phantom voice called me, she sounded so happy to see me, but when I looked I saw no-one. Your voice has always sounded familiar, is that why?” It had been years for Regina, but for Emma only hours had passed.

“Yes.” What else could she say?

“Why did you call?” She was so eager to know, so hungry for an explanation. Her eyes would not disconnect from Emma’s, staring and searching their depths for any signs of an epiphany. Emma’s brow furrowed, trying to think of a way to explain in a way that would not alter anything drastically.

“There will come a time that I will be a part of your life for good. But at the time that era begins, I won’t know you.” Regina frowned, not liking the cryptic message. Emma had to admit is sounded a bit stupid and cheesy, but she couldn't quite figure out how to do the least damage. “It’s complicated. I ask you to be patient with me. Things will become clearer.” Emma paused, wondering how much she could give away. She sighed, wanting to say so much more. "Just know, things will get better, eventually, okay?” Her smile was weak but genuine.

“What do I do now? Will I see you again before then?” The Queen asked hastily, as a haze of orange began to swirl around the blonde again.

“I don’t know” Emma answered apologetically, and then she was gone.


	6. Five

Emma was in the void again. It was a surreal experience. However the darkness did not stay long, for bursts of orange light broke forth in all directions, sending forth echoes of voices and images of moments in fleeting passing throughout the production of the curse. Emma watched as Rumplestiltskin taunted her with a future he knew she’d have; an emptiness she’d beg for him to fill. She watched the curse flood the enchanted forest in fast-forwards, saw the first eighteen years of life in Storybrooke pass in mundane routine and boredom. She watched as Regina did exactly what Rumple had said she would; fill a void. Obviously Emma had known the identity of Henry’s mother was too far-fetched to be a coincidence, but actually seeing the time play out was another thing altogether. She saw Regina in the waiting room in the Boston adoption agency; saw her smile impossibly wide at the entrance of her son. Saw how desperate and helpless she felt when he wouldn’t stop crying, saw the annoyance towards Doctor Whale when he suggested she show some maternal love. Emma saw her alone. Saw her crying in frustration at night when he wouldn’t quieten down, saw her break the law to find the birthmother. Break the law to find _her_. Everything was in the clearest focus when Emma watched Regina look in that file from the void. She took one glance at the name and everything collapsed. She read about her history and she knew. This was the woman who’d destroy her. She hadn’t seen her in years. In eighteen years, in fact.

 _“Where are you, Emma?”_ She wouldn’t have replied even if she could have.

The sound of Regina accusing Gold of setting everything up was the background noise to an unsteady drive to Boston. She parked in the adoption agency and Emma could hear Regina shouting _‘She’s important isn’t she?!’_ Emma watched as she struggled to attempt to give Henry back, caught between loving him and feeling inadequate. Emma cheered silently when she got back in the car with Henry securely by her side.

An uneasy feeling began to settle where Emma’s stomach would be if she weren’t lost in limbo. Regina had her name, her details; she knew she was the saviour. If this was the case, how was their first meeting going to go? _Oh you’re Henry’s birthmother? Stand still while I murder you with my bare hands._ Emma didn’t know at what point she had said or done something that would lead Regina to find out the information, however she had seen the brunette begin to fall apart at the seams and so she concluded that it was hopefully nothing to do with her at all. Hopefully.

The darkness burned again, in a singular bight ring, holding a crystal clear image of Regina and Henry in Regina’s Mausoleum. Why had she taken him there? Emma frowned, it was obviously an important moment if the time portal was showing it to her, and not just chucking her in there with them. Emma wasn’t sure what to expect, but as she listened to the soft, deep tones of Regina’s voice tell Henry a story, Emma’s heart felt like it could burst.

 _“Once upon a time there was a queen. And she cast a glorious curse that gave her everything she wanted... or so she thought. She despaired when she learned that revenge was not enough. She was lonely. And so she searched the land for a little boy to be her prince. And then... she found him.”_ Regina smiled at baby Henry, tickling his tummy before continuing, _“And though they lived happily, it was not ever after. There was still an evil out there lurking. The Queen was worried for her prince's safety. While she knew she could vanquish any threat to the boy, she also knew she couldn't raise him without worrying. No. She needed to put her own troubles aside. And put her child first. And so the Queen procured an ancient potion of forgetting."_  Henry made a small noise, which Regina seemed to interpret as fear, " _It's all right. If the Queen drinks the potion, she won't forget her child. She'll only forget her worries. Her troubles. Her fears. And with those gone, she - and her prince - can indeed finally live happily ever after.”_

 

Emma was crying non-existent tears. She had known Regina was a good mother, but this… she hadn’t known. For a brief moment she wondered if Regina would forget her time travelling self, but then she realised Regina knew her not as the saviour, or as a birthmother, but just as a woman that pops into her life every now and again and speaks vaguely of the future.  She hoped she thought more of her than that. Emma certainly thought more of her.

The circle of light began to close, and Emma faded into black again, unsure of how long she'd been gone, but losing consciousness fast enough to realise she was exhausted.


	7. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously: 
> 
> “Regina…” she began, but the queen wheeled round fast, letting out a ball of magical force that sent Emma colliding with the far wall. She groaned as he back hit the hard surface, and then slid to the floor in pain. Her head spun and black dots spattered across her vision.
> 
> “There will come a time that I will be a part of your life for good. But at the time that era begins, I won’t know you.” Regina frowned, not liking the cryptic message. Emma had to admit is sounded a bit stupid and cheesy, but she couldn't quite figure out how to do the least damage. “It’s complicated. I ask you to be patient with me. Things will become clearer.” Emma paused, wondering how much she could give away. She sighed, wanting to say so much more. "Just know, things will get better, eventually, okay?”

Emma opened her eyes blearily. Stretching and wincing at the pain that shot through her back, she wondered how long she had blacked out for. There were many things she wondered. When was she? Where was she? And why could she hear crying? Blinking a few times, her eyesight began to focus. Stood above her, looming so much like the Queen had been not moments ago, was a neat, normal, Storybrooke Regina.

“Who am I?” the voice commanded.

“Regina.” Emma yawned. Not really thinking about why she had asked her that. However, the conversation they’d just had dawned on her, and she sat up a little straighter, wincing.

“What’s wrong?” Regina looked concerned, bending down to help her up.

“You threw me into a wall, remember?” Emma countered, forgetting it had been years for Regina. The crying in the background suddenly demanded to be heard. It had been eighteen years for Regina. Somewhere out there in Boston was an eighteen year old her, in prison having just given birth. Right now. The idea was a bit overwhelming and Emma almost missed Regina’s reply.

“That _still_ hurts?! I didn’t think it was that bad!” She began to fuss but Emma calmed her with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“It hasn’t been very long since then for me, I’m not sure how long exactly, but I’d be guessing hours rather than years. I haven’t been sporting a life-long injury ever since that day, I swear. I’d be changing clothes too if I had packed a bag… and if I were sure I wouldn’t accidentally end up teleporting to a different timeline butt-naked.” Regina looked confused but didn’t press the matter. Emma looked at her properly. She was no longer young Regina, full of love and happiness, no longer the Evil Queen that she had been so justly named, and she was not yet the business-savvy, power suit wearing mayor Emma had known. She was wearing a jumper in a shade of blue similar to that of the riding coat that Emma had seen in the Enchanted Forest and a black skirt that appeared both formal and comfortable. Her hair was parted differently and was not as long as in the Enchanted Forest, but still longer than the time she’s met the mother of her son. Overall she just looked very… ordinary. For a change.

Regina tugged Emma to her feet, and offered her a drink. Emma stood at the kitchen counter watching as Regina handled glasses and drinks, passing one to her. She watched as she filled a Sippy Cup with formula, and then picked up baby Henry, bouncing him gently on her hip whilst feeding him.

“You were right, you know. It did get better.” Regina was smiling happily as she spoke, eyes shining despite the slight tired look to them. Emma’s heart broke. She looked at the relatively new mother, with the baby she’d given birth to and she almost told her. She almost did. But she couldn’t, it would change too much. She swallowed thickly, thinking it wise to say something rather than let her crash and fall as she inevitably did the first time round.

“Look Regina, I’m really happy everything is great, but you’re not out of the woods yet I’m afraid. So hold on to this for as long as possible, okay?” she chose her words carefully “I’m afraid I cause you quite a bit of trouble later on. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry now, and I’m sorry in advance.” She didn’t want to be a downer, but her look implored Regina to take her seriously.

“You don’t seem that bad to me.” Regina argued defensively, as though it were herself she were attempting to preserve. Emma rolled her eyes and thought about how weird this was, talking to Regina like this, before the time she’d even met her.

“I’m not bad _now_ , but we go through a lot of… stuff before we reach even slightly this point” she gestured between them loosely. “Actually I don’t even think we’re quite at this point yet.” Emma rotated the glass in her hand, drink long gone, but needing something to fiddle with. Regina didn’t reply, feeling it best to not press the blonde too hard for information that just confused her anyway. Instead made her way to get changing supplies for Henry. She held him against her shoulder, as she reached under the changing table and removed what was needed from a box neatly tucked beneath it. Emma didn’t know what to do or say. This was the first time the portal had taken her to that was just everyday mundane. It was odd. And yet somehow just standing, leaning against the counter, spinning her glass and watching Regina tend to Henry was still special. They stayed like this for the longest time Emma had been in a moment, just comfortable silence and fond gazes at the child Emma never got the opportunity to raise.

A sadness grew when the light engulfed her again.


	8. Three

Emma lost track of time. Lost track of the number of instances the time portal took her back to Regina again and again. Emma flitted between Henry’s upbringing, resurfacing every couple of months, or at least that’s what Regina had said, and staying only a little while before the portal dragged her ahead again, too impatient to let her just live in the moment it brought her to. It was frustrating to the saviour, always moving but not having the decision to do so. She lost track of how long she had been travelling through the void. Time had become so distorted, such an unreal concept, that it no longer mattered.

Sometimes when Emma wasn't in the world, the darkness would show her glimpses from the Mayor's life, how she was progressing, what she was doing, how she acted when she was alone. One time the blonde caught a glimpse of her and the Sheriff in Regina's room, and immediately turned away. It was none of her business but their heavy breathing still reached her ears in the void, so that the tips would turn pink next time she looked the Mayor in the eye.

When she was in Storybrooke however, Emma had always insisted that Henry should never see her. As much as she wished things had been different between her and Henry, she had given him up so that he'd have his best chance, and so she would never rob his and Regina's right to be a family. And so she was always hidden, or watching from afar, the family that seemed so unconditionally perfect. So very nearly hers. It was becoming addictive, like a habit that wasn’t controlled by her. She was the marionette, and Zelena’s magic was her puppeteer, her manipulator. It took her back time and time again to watch Regina parent Henry, watch him grow, watch him sulk, watch him perfect his tactics on Tetris. It showed her Regina making spaghetti bolognaise for the two of them, it showed them chatting over the table, it showed her the memories she had once claimed as her own, it showed her their relationship gradually cracking, it showed her Regina being unsure of what to do, and how to regain her little boy.

If Emma had been asked at any point in this journey, ‘do you think Regina has suffered enough?’ he answer would have been ‘yes’ from her second landing onwards. She had lost count now and yet here she was, trying to calm Regina down when she had realised Henry had run away. Sherriff Graham was called, even though Emma had reassured her that he wouldn’t be needed. Insisted, in fact. But Regina had a way of making her own decisions, even against the advice of someone from the future. Emma’s theory was that this was the reason nothing too drastic had changed, besides the foundation of her and Regina’s relationship. These were the thoughts contemplated by her as she was shoved into a closet so that the Sherriff wouldn’t see her.

_Hi._

Later, after Regina had first met Emma Swan, birthmother of her child, she stormed through the house and flung open the closet door to demand an explanation only to find it empty.

* * *

_Dear Regina,_

_I’m sorry I didn’t say anything._

_Emma_

Not even a smile formed at the note left on her pillow that night, however the mayor couldn’t bring herself to discard it so casually, and so she put it on her bed side table. She’d figure out what to do with it later.


	9. Two

What later held in store for Regina was a little wooden box that was now being used as storage for all time travelling Emma’s notes. She was leaving them all over the place, mostly in her mansion, but also in her car and office, wherever she happened to materialise that day. If there was one thing that was certain however, is that where Emma was, Regina was never far away due to the conditions of the time portal.

The notes were mostly apologies;

_Dear Regina,_

_Sorry I hit you._

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Sorry I disregarded your parentage of Henry._

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Sorry he thinks you’re evil._

_Emma_

Some of them were encouragements;

_Dear Regina,_

_He’ll come around, no really, I know the future._

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Keep fighting, I can be stubborn sometimes._

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Good times up ahead!_

_Emma_

Some of them were miscellaneous, or attempting to be humorous;

_Dear Regina,_

_Oh c’mon I totally saved you from that fire._

_Well 99% of you, what’s a little twisted ankle?_

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Not doing paperwork is important police business._

_Emma_

_Dear Regina,_

_Our son loves me more than you._

_Too soon?_

_Only kidding._

_Emma_

And very occasionally, she might even get a warning;

_Dear Regina,_

_I’m going to do something really crappy tomorrow_

_Well not me me, the other me._

_But still, please don’t hate/maim/kill me._

_Emma_

Although most of them were stupid and pointless, finding the notes was like seeing a glimpse of the future Emma claimed to have with her; a friendship. A shaky one built of a lot of bad blood, but ultimately a friendship kept from falling apart by a bond of mutual love for their son. This pathway, though a long one, was something Regina really wanted to strive for. It would be better for them, for the town, for Henry. Despite this being the case however, it didn't stop Regina from losing her temper with real-time-Emma, finding it frustrating that their relationship started off so rocky, and annoying that this Emma still insisted in interfering and spouting her ignorance, when she knew a version that was patient and understanding. She supposed it had taken time-travelling-Emma a long time to reach that point.

Emma had tried to stay as far away from Regina as possible from the moment her ignorant self had entered the brunette's life. Besides sending her small notes to soften the blows she knew were coming, the only way she saw the past Queen was from afar. It hurt to see the devastation her actions has caused from Regina's side, and the longer the days went on, the more guilty she felt. She was hardly skipping around at all now, only jumping a couple of days ahead, but rarely more than a month was blank. She was nearly living in real time, taking a back seat in the reality she had already experienced.

She described herself in her head as a skipping stone, travelling along a pathway of time, but only touching down onto it briefly before jumping ahead. But as time went on her skips over the water became smaller and smaller, running out of momentum as they approached the moment she left the present day.

 


	10. One

Both Emma and Regina had expected the notes to subside after the relationship between her and Emma’s oblivious twin improved. However, as the relationship between Regina and one Emma grew, so did the relationship with the other. 

The notes now had become such a habit, that Emma still left them after every visit. She tried to stay out of the way and not let herself be seen, just in case she still managed to slip up and alter history even more than she already had, but the notes were calculated, they were thought out. She took time to write them, even though they were all only a line or two at most, carefully choosing what she could say that wouldn’t affect anything too drastically. Like you know, fucking up her parents first meeting so that she might never be born or something. It occurred to Emma one day when she was writing a note that she hadn’t seen Hook since they’d fallen into the portal. She hadn’t really thought about it since the initial shock because she was too busy attempting to not fall over every time the portal took her somewhere and when new, but now she began to worry that he’d screw up worse than she did. Oh well, there wasn’t much she could do about that now. The date of the time portal’s creation was undeniably close in terms of measuring in Regina’s major life events. She wasn’t entirely sure how it would all work, besides hoping that the time portal wouldn’t continue to take her to the future she had not yet seen. This was partially due to not wanting to spoil the rest of existence in this world hopping from orange light to orange light. Orange means wait, Emma wanted to go and live. The other big chunk of not wanting to be time portalled places forever is that she really, really wanted a shower without having to guess when you’ll be transported naked into a large group of people from the future with a flash of auburn.

Emma had noticed the time portal was making bigger jumps in time again, only focussing on key events in Regina’s life, rather than the times when Henry was growing up in her absence. She missed the mundane, the times she could slow down and watch as life unfolded itself. But she also missed ordinary, unbroken life, with no skips or non-consensual jumps through time like that favourite record that gets played over and over despite it's awkward jumpiness over the scratches. Emma Swan only visited the scratches, and missed the rest of the music.

* * *

 Regina was missing the Emma she had known for years. The Emma that was trying to take her son was not someone she knew or understood, and her anger grew by the day. She did not want to be angry with her, for she had the same face as the woman she held so much dearer, but as hard as she tried she couldn't accept this woman to be her Emma. 'Her' Emma's visits had become less frequent again, and she missed her. She wanted the annoying Emma to be gone and the other to stay forever, no more time travel. And so while her motives were different,Emma found herself watching in silence as Regina baked an apple turnover, meant for the other her. Emma placed an hand on Regina's arm when she placed it on the cooling rack, giving her a look that Regina thought was a plea for self preservation, but in fact was a warning. Emma didn't mention she would never eat it.

* * *

On the day the curse broke Emma drowned in guilt. She sat with Regina, to comfort the woman who thought her son was dead, and then lost him even though he lived. She held her without words, slumped against the pillows on Regina's bed while she cried. The brunette's face was buried against the other woman's shoulder, arms around her waist and legs tangled together. Her emotions were so mixed, she couldn't hate the woman comforting her, and yet she was heartbroken by her. or at least the other her, and the relationship she had formed with their son. It was all so confusing, so frustrating and so difficult to see her son so vulnerable, then not even looking to her for protection. She cried wordlessly and Emma stroked her hair. The volume of tears made her eyes sore and her head throb, but she still fell asleep eventually, not quite registering the faded amber light glow and dissipate again. 

She woke alone.

* * *

 

On the day Regina lost Daniel for the second time, Zelena’s magic took Emma to Regina in her car, sobbing as she watched her son from across the street, unable to go and talk to him. Emma had wrapped her arm around Regina’s shoulders and pulled her to rest her head on her shoulder, She told her it got better. Regina believed her. She let her cry until she faded away unwillingly into orange light.

* * *

 

On the day Henry was kidnapped to Neverland, time-travelling-Emma was nowhere in sight.

In the void, the blonde watched as the woman she'd grown to hold so dear was tortured by her son's kidnappers. Regina's screams echoed in the darkness, but any reply Emma tried to shout was extinguished before it could even be fully formed.

* * *

 

 

On the day of Emma's first trip through a portal, she watched from a distance as she and Regina started a the swirling pool of magic with Jefferson’s hat. The expression on Regina’s face when she fell in the portal, taking a kamikaze Mary Margret with her proved to Emma that Regina had started to view the separate Emmas as one person. She had forgotten she had not lost her. She was there when she ripped out her own heart for Tinkerbelle, the was there when she awoke alone sobbing with night sweats from her dreams, she was there when she was knocked out by Pan in Henry’s body, and she was there when she found out that she had to sacrifice Henry to stop him. It seemed that if Regina had deemed it important, the time portal would take her to it.

* * *

 

The day it came, Emma was not ready. She had just seen Regina defeat Zelena with light magic, and almost immediately after she was thrown behind the back of a barn. She could see the orange light erupting from the ground, and the noise was deafening. Emma attempted to make her way around the barn, but the winds were too strong. Suddenly the portal closed and a shout of ‘Emma!’ was heard by the blonde echoing in the abrupt stillness. Emma immediately took off, running as fast as possible around to the front of the barn, where she remembered all of this happening. She could just about make out the silhouette of Regina against the background of her car lights, but she squinted in the dark for quite a long while before fixating on the shape of her running form. Emma was breathing hard, trying to shout out to the former Queen, but nothing came out right. Regina was calm, but there was a nervous undertone to her words when she called out;

“Who’s there?”

“Regina…” Emma replied breathlessly. She had to tell her, she had to explain this was just her now. No double act, no hiding. This is what happened now.

As she came to a halt Regina looked at her incredulously.

“How?..” she shook her head in disbelief. Emma couldn’t help but laugh a little at her confused expression.

“You wouldn’t believe the trip I’ve been on,” she said, “What I’ve seen…” her voice cracked and all the emotion from everything she’d experienced about the brunette woman’s life came flooding back. Emma burst into tears, stumbled forwards and sobbed in her old enemy’s arms.

“It’s you…” Regina whispered, grasping her tight, wishing to be impossibly closer. Emma just nodded and clung tighter.

“I’m so glad I'm home.”

 


	11. Zero

_Breathe._

The void still swallowed Emma Swan on occasion. She still saw hoops of gold and towers of light, with flashes of the life she'd had the privilege of witnessing. She still saw the agony reflected in the eyes of the woman she cared so much about, in the images of her past. She still grasped hopelessly, trying to reach and comfort her, only to be pulled back to the darkness and thrust forwards into her life again through the burning portals. She still leapt through time at a dizzying rate that left her feel queasy and drained.

And yet now she never moved.

_Emma..._

She heard a whisper through the darkness and tried to strive towards it, but her body was never responsive in this place.

_Emma..._

this time it was closer, less distorted. Emma struggled to turn towards the sound.

_Emma, wake up dear._

She was dragged to reality again, pulled by an invisible force, and thrown towards a light that was not orange. Her eyes opened to a reassuring smile, thinly veiling a worried expression. 

"You were dreaming again." Regina stated the obvious, lying back down next to the blonde, and drawing the other woman closer, pressing their bodies together and winding their legs into a tangle of limbs. Emma groaned through half-sleep, resting her chin atop the shorter woman's head, and she responded to the hug. As she moved her arms around the other woman she became aware of the cold sweat that sat on her skin.

"Uugh I'm gross." She groaned, trying to pull back a little, but Regina wouldn't let her escape.

"I don't care." The brunette replied, mumbling into the side of Emma's neck. The blonde could feel her words vibrate against her, causing her to smile and relax back into the pillows. Over the top of the former Queen's head, Emma could see the early morning light filtering through the blinds, and yesterday's clothes on the armchair below it. Regina's were folded neatly on the seat, and her own were simply chucked across the back and the arm. It was an image she never imagined would be in her life, but as her eyes slipped closed again, and her breathing began to synchronise with the woman wound around her, the smile that graced her lips was one of complete contentment. 


End file.
